Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I'm a fearful person. I don't want to be, but I am. As most of you know, I went to the lake with my family last week. Considering we hadn't been on a family vacation in five years, it was a big deal. We all had a great time, but I realized fear takes some of the joy away from me. As our car wound around curve after curve on the tiny, two-lane highway, I gripped tightly to the armrest and held my breath, sure we were going to spin out of control and end up at the bottom of the embankment. I refused to ride any of the roller coasters at the amusement park because I just knew the car would lose momentum and come to a halt, leaving us hanging upside down for hours. (This really happened at Worlds of Fun. I've seen interviews with the girls it happened to. They were traumatized for life.) Instead, I sat and prayed for the rest of my family to disembark safely. Every time they returned, grinning from ear to ear, I regretted not having rode it with them. As my kids swam off the dock, I nervously waited for something bad to happen. After all, the sign did say: SWIM AT YOUR OWN RISK. What's that supposed to mean? Snakes? Yeah, definitely, snakes. This one I was right about. My husband swears it was a fish bite, but it sure looks like fang marks to me, and I seriously doubt there were any vampires swimming around down there. Okay, okay, I'm getting to the point. Fear holds me back in life. It also holds me back in my writing. I did this post about me trying to decide which WIP to work on--the sequel to my first novel or a stand-alone project. I really want to be working on the sequel, but my fear that the first one will never be published is holding me back. Well, I faced that fear yesterday, and I dove into the sequel head first. It felt good, and I realized it doesn't matter if the first one gets published. I'm just writing for the pure joy of writing. What fears hold you back?